Short Answer:
Yes — but it’s complicated. While intended parents can technically back out of a surrogacy arrangement, doing so can carry serious emotional, legal, and financial consequences depending on the timing and the type of agreement in place.
Understanding the Commitment
Surrogacy is a major decision — emotionally, legally, and financially. Once a surrogacy agreement is signed, both parties (intended parents and surrogate) are expected to follow through with their responsibilities. Backing out isn’t as simple as changing your mind; it’s more like breaking a contract with real implications.
What Happens If Parents Back Out?
- Before Embryo Transfer:
If intended parents withdraw before any medical procedures begin, it’s usually less complicated. However, they may still lose money already spent on screening, legal fees, or agency costs. - After Pregnancy Begins:
This is where it gets serious. If the surrogate is already pregnant and the parents back out, they may:- Still be legally obligated to assume custody of the child.
- Be held financially responsible for the surrogate’s compensation and pregnancy-related expenses.
- Face emotional consequences for abandoning the process.
- In Traditional vs. Gestational Surrogacy:
Legal outcomes may also depend on whether the surrogacy is traditional (using the surrogate’s egg) or gestational (using the intended parents’ or donors’ embryos). In most U.S. states, gestational surrogacy is more legally secure for intended parents.
Legal Protections Exist — For a Reason
This is why having a legally binding surrogacy agreement is crucial. These contracts outline:
- Parental responsibilities
- Financial obligations
- Dispute resolution
- What happens in case either party wants to terminate the arrangement
States with established surrogacy laws (like California, Illinois, and New Jersey) tend to offer stronger protections to all parties.
What Should Intended Parents Do If They’re Having Doubts?
If you’re considering backing out, it’s vital to:
- Speak with your surrogacy agency or coordinator
- Consult your surrogacy attorney immediately
- Consider counseling to clarify emotional hesitation
- Revisit your motivations and expectations
Final Thoughts
While it’s technically possible for intended parents to back out of surrogacy, doing so can be harmful and costly — to everyone involved. Surrogacy is a shared journey built on trust, and clear legal and emotional preparation is key to ensuring no one is left behind.
